Morte and Ricky (excerpt)

Image via Mike Kline on Flikr.

This is a ([n] extremely goofy) concept I had for an on-spec, spin-off episode of Rick and Morty. My idea for Morte and Ricky started as a silly spoonerism I said to my friend. It evolved from there to a drawing, then to an episode script.

The premise: somewhere in the multiverse, Morte, aka Death, and Ricky, that is, famously atheist Ricky Gervais, go on adventures together. Hilarity ensues. So does a lot of death, fittingly enough.

ROLL TITLE: MORTE AND RICKY
 
INT. RICKY’S HOUSE.
 
We hearing kissing sounds from OS. The camera slowly cuts and pans to reveal RICKY making out with an attractive woman on his couch.
 
WOMAN
Oh my God --
 
RICKY clears his throat.
 
WOMAN (CONT’D)
I can’t believe this is happening. Can we maybe take this somewhere a little more...intimate?
 
RICKY
Oh yeah. Follow me, Patricia.
 
They walk OS.
 
INT. BEDROOM. THERE ARE NUMEROUS ATHEIST-ESPOUSING DECORATIONS AROUND THE ROOM.
 
RICKY and PATRICIA’s shirts are off as they continue making out.
 
PATRICIA
Oh Ricky, take me!
 
Suddenly, MORTE emerges from a black portal. As it opens, we hear ghastly screams and moans. The portal closes. RICKY and PATRICIA start.
 
MORTE lifts a flask up to his mouth and pours whiskey into it. The whiskey falls through him until his abdomen, where it disappears into a void.
 
MORTE
Oh c’mon Ricky, a Wiccan? Neither of us like Wiccans!
 
RICKY
Wha -- y-y-you lied to me! Get out! Now!
 
PATRICIA puts her shirt back on and mutters as she leaves.
 
 RICKY (CONT’D)
Thanks Morte. You really saved me there. A Wiccan…
 
MORTE
Yeah whatever Ricky. I’m not here because I wanted to prevent another sexual misstep, I need your help.
 
RICKY
Ugh, another ludicrous supernatural adventure I suppose? You know I don’t believe in that stuff, Morte.
 
MORTE
No shit Ricky, we all know. How could we not. Anyway, I think you’ll wanna come on this one, you could stand to benefit too.
 
RICKY sighs.

RICKY
Okay. Shoot.
 
MORTE manifests his smoke-and-fire display, which visualizes with MORTE’s proposal.
 
MORTE
Okay, so you know God?
 
RICKY
Oh yeah, I know he doesn’t exist.
 
MORTE
Jesus --
RICKY clears his throat.
 
MORTE (CONT’D)
Ricky can you just turn it off for two minutes!?
 
RICKY
...fine.
 
MORTE clears his throat, annoyed.

MORTE
Well it turns out he’s sort of a dickhead. More of a Zeus than a benevolent deity or an unmoved mover. He’s probably the biggest despot in all of the Celestial Spheres. And he’s really horny Ricky. Really horny. I mean, you think Zeus was depraved? You should meet this guy. He’d turn into a devil if it meant he could get some Ricky.
 
RICKY
Morte. Get on with it.
 
MORTE
My friend Asriel was building up an army in secret to take him on. A real liberator. But he found out, Ricky. He captured Asriel. We gotta save him Ricky. We gotta save my friend.
 
RICKY ponders for a beat.
 
RICKY
I dunno Morte. Even if I do believe you, this sounds out of my league.
 
MORTE
I’m not done Ricky. I said there was something in this for you. I’m not the Devil Ricky I’m not -- I’m ethically neutral Ricky, I don’t need to trick you.
 
A beat.
 
MORTE (CONT’D)
Losing Asriel gives us a unique opportunity. Right now he’s the only living person inside God’s sphere. You know what that means, right Ricky?
 
RICKY smirks.
 
RICKY
It means your friend is imaginary, too!
 
A beat.
 
MORTE manifests a ball gag out of smoke and flame and shoves it in Ricky’s mouth.
 
MORTE
It means in a sphere of Deities and Immortals that Death can’t touch, I have an in.
 
MORTE grabs RICKY’s face.

MORTE (CONT’D)
And you have a chance to not be such a wank. How would you like to be known as the Man that Killed God?
 
RICKY’s face lights up.
 
RICKY
[Happily] Mmmf mfmff mmmm!
 
MORTE
That’s what I thought.
 
MORTE shoots black gas in RICKY’s face and RICKY collapses on his bed, coughing.
 
MORTE (CONT’D)
Now get some rest, we got a lotta blaspheming to do.
 
MORTE cleaves a portal out of RICKY’s place. RICKY stops coughing and falls silent.